Listening Is An Act
HEY! Are You Really Listening?
Are we really listening to what other people are saying to us? I know that sometimes this idea gets thrown around to harass our opponents in our relationships. (ie. girlfriend/boyfriend, sister/brother, coworker/boss) The truth is, if our conversations are emotionally driven or we are emotionally engaged in our conversations, sometimes we have a difficult time ACTually listening. (See what I did there?)
Actions Require Intentions.
So, why I say that listening is an act is because when we are acting in a certain way, it requires our full 100% attention and energy. If I go into a conversation with the intention of winning an argument, the “action” that I’m participating in is ‘winning an argument’, NOT ‘listening’. In furtherance of showing respect to the other party, in furtherance of providing a meaningful opportunity to connect, and well shit, because it’s the right thing to do, the only “act” I should be taking is actively listening to their thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Otherwise, Tell Them To Shut Up.
I’ll throw this out there, if you aren’t going to actively listen to someone, then just tell them to shut up. No, seriously. If you have no intention of giving their ideas, beliefs and whatever it is they have to say any actual validity, then spare them the effort and tell them to shut up. If you started a conversation with someone without the intent to ACTually listen, then not listening is just as rude as telling them to shut up the second they start talking. Next time you’re engaged in a conversation, if you’re not actively listening to the other person, I want you to think in your mind while they’re talking “I’m just going to tell them to shut the hell up.”
Are You Willing To Do It?
If you’re not willing to actively listen, then you better have the courage to tell them to shut up. Otherwise, you’re being inauthentic in your communication and you’re not connecting with them. So next time you get into a conversation with someone, take a deep breath. Set aside your own preconceived judgments and beliefs. Turn off your thinking brain and activate your listening skills. I promise, your relationships and your communication will improve, AND best of all, people will actually start listening to you!
Related: Wake Up! You Paying Attention?
