Does Wanting More Necessitate A Sense of Lacking
Is Enough Too Much? Is Too Much Not Enough? When Do We Stop?
A question I encountered recently led me to wonder, if I am striving to accomplish more, if I am working hard to grow (my business, my skills, myself) does this require me to have a feeling or belief that something is lacking in my life? It’s difficult to balance the desire for more with the equanimity and security of enough. When I evaluate my life, I am more than fulfilled, my cup is more than full it’s overflowing. Yet I do desire and I am motivated to keep growing all aspects of my life.
Should I Stop And Smell The Roses Or Will They Begin To Rot?
Does this make me ungrateful? Does this create resentments in my current existence? How do I overcome the complacency that can plague us from finding opportunities for growth, without creating a sense that what I have is not enough?
This imbalance, weighing out excess versus lack, can create internal resentments and internal strife when I start to think about an activity I’m in the middle of doing. As an example, if I spend a minute not doing something that is growing some facet of my life. Is that minute wasted? Is every minute I exist required to be in furtherance of some aspect of growth? Or in active intentional enjoyment of the existing life that I have? If it’s not, and time is wasted, (with time being a finite resource) are we then creating a sense of lack that I fear? Feeling like time is running out and we’re not using it wisely? Should I feel bad I’m not reaching, building, or fighting for more more more?
What If Every Activity Is For Growth, But Some Activities Offer More Growth?
Right now, as I head to the beach to go surfing while I dictate this post to my iPhone, I find myself evaluating exactly what it is that I am doing. On the one hand I’m currently engaged in Andy Frisella’s 75Hard Challenge. So I have an obligation in furtherance of meeting this goal (a goal that is in furtherance of personal growth and self betterment) to accomplish two exercises of 45 minutes a day. I already did an hour on the treadmill this morning. And now before I start my day, I’m off to get in at least 45 minutes of surfing.
Although this is going to be fun, today is a stormy day. And it’s probably not the best day for surfing. (If I was doing it just for pure enjoyment, I probably wouldn’t go.) So as much as this is an exercise and also an outlet for both creativity and physical betterment, it’s an obligation that I’ve committed to in furtherance of self growth. I don’t know that I consider surfing right now a waste of time. But I also find it hard to say that something I love doing for fun is necessarily a personal growth strategy. So I find myself in a conundrum.
Shouldn’t Doing Things For Fun That Also Better Us Be Our #1 Goal?
That conundrum is, does everything I do fall on the scales of wasted time/needing to get more versus enjoying life. And the fact that in my life I don’t just have enough, I have excess (overflowing cup). And I don’t mean excess in the sense of too much or that I need less because I’m taking advantage in an excessive way. I mean it in the sense of I have more than enough and I’m grateful for that excess. (Not abusing the excess.) So as I go through this evaluation I wonder is every minute I spent today going to be in furtherance of achieving more and getting closer to my goals? Is it in furtherance of enjoying that which I already have? Or is it just a neutral passing of time (and is that wasted time)?
Feeling Good About Feeling Good
The reason this inquiry is so important to me is because I do believe that our mental state and our overall sense of self has an impact on the integrity and the intentionality of all of the things that we do. So, if while I’m surfing in the water today and sitting there looking at the coast line of La Jolla and seeing these multi million dollar homes (depending on my sense of self and the state of my emotional intelligence in that moment) I may feel; regret, or shame, or guilt about the fact that instead of being at my office and working towards achieving more in my life and providing more for my family, I’m out in the water surfing.
But, based on the fact that what I have is already enough (and more than enough at that) if I pull my focus instead on the fact that surfing is part of this 75Hard Challenge, I actually realize that this exercise (going surfing) is actually in furtherance of that growth. And also in furtherance of creating a better version of me that will be better equipped to be able to provide the additional growth and value for my life and my family.
I Come Across These Conflicts All The Time And I Wonder How Much It’s Impacting Me On A Subconscious Level When I’m Engaged In Any Activity
What say you? Are you reflecting on how you feel about whatever it is that you’re doing? Do you ever feel guilt or shame or regret taking part in something that doesn’t feel like it’s helping you achieve your goals but maybe it actually is good for you to do it? When can we give ourselves the opportunity to simply enjoy the fruits of our labor? And when we enjoy the fruits of our labor, should we at times feel guilty that we have more than others do and shouldn’t enjoy our success too much?
How do we overcome the hurdles that are presented to us in the enjoyment of our life? Is it possible to be happy with what we have? To want more of what we already have or more of something else. And can we learn to be OK with the fact that other people don’t have as much as us and other people have much much more than us? How do we make peace with all of this and still feel great about who we are? What we are? And where we’re going?
Would love to hear how you handle this, so please share below!
Visit the blog for more.
